Krisztina's Blog: One Step at A Time
We're all facing some sort of staircase, whether it be short and wide or tall and very steep. Some of us run right up, while some of us take it slow, and others simply stop and give up, like my daughter. ;)
Some of us are at the bottom, while others have just made it to the top. The top is always fun for a while, and the bottom is sometimes okay too. At the bottom we can pump ourselves up and imagine the top. It's after we've taken a few steps and start to feel tired that it gets hard. We look back and see we've only made it up a few, then we look towards the top and get easily overwhelmed at how many steps are left. I'm already so worn out, how can I possibly make it that much further is a common way to feel.
I find that these challenging staircases, just like anything else in life, boil down to perspective and attitude. Of course let's face it, sometimes you're just on the wrong damn set of stairs. So get that all figured out first. That will have to be a different blog post. But let's say you know you're on the right one, but it's hard, and you're worn out after only a few steps. For me perspective begins with the things I say to myself and the way I say them. For example I could say, "I've only made it 4 steps, and there are 23 more to go!" But I've learned to tell myself, "I've made it four whole steps. I know I can make it just four more, then four more after that, and so on." I know my legs will hurt, and it won't always be fun. But that's okay! That's life. I know that where I'm headed is where I want to be and what is right for me. I also know that after I reach the top, there will be another set of stairs, so I may as well learn to be happy along the way, or I'll just be miserable the whole time. (But if I need to stop and cry like a baby for a minute, that's totally okay too!)
I hear a lot of negative chatter on Facebook; people often say things like, "I don't know how I'm going to be able to _____." I too find myself saying things like that whenever I feel overwhelmed. That kind of negative self talk only makes things seem more overwhelming and impossible. If we can learn to stop and think about the situation, it's plain to see that more often than not, there is a way, and we will be able to get through it. One step at a time, right?
When it gets real tough, it helps to imagine the top. Not how much you have left to get there, but to imagine actually being there - how it would make you feel to be there. The mind is a very powerful thing when it comes to our emotions. If you can learn to experience the emotions right now that you would feel if you were already at the top, it can help push you through those tough times. Stop saying things like, "I wish" or I hope" and start telling yourself, "I can't wait until _______, because I know I will get there."
Related: August's Letter from the Editor: Being In Between