Good Vibes Only


I'm frequently reminded by my boyfriend to spend more of my energy on the good things and the good people in my life and to just let go of the bad. It's ironic, considering I've become such a happy and positive person in recent years. It's like he said whenever he watched Inside Out, "You remind me of Joy."

But positive or not, happy or not, there are quite a few major stresses and transitions in my life, along with some wonderful changes this year. Though he is one of the good things, the best thing really, he is also a sympathetic ear. Finally having a safe and caring place to vent on a regular basis, I find myself venting...a LOT.

When we started dating, I made a conscious effort to never talk about negative things, or to put a positive spin on everything; partly due to my optimistic personality and partly no doubt from some article I probably read by someone like Matthew Hussey, which mentioned how men find happy women more attractive.

Fast forward to a few months later when intimacy depends on full disclosure and sharing feelings and thoughts every day, and like I said, I wound up with a lot of venting. We go back and forth, from being open and honest about our own insecurities and negative feelings and the negative outside forces in our lives as well, to trying to keep date night about the positive things only, to not bring the mood down.

He recently wrote something about not focusing on the negative influences in our lives and focusing on the good. I've written about this before too, as have many others, and it seems simple enough. But he said something that made me think just a little more. He spoke about watering the good things that we want to grow in the future. So it isn't just about being happy today or not killing the good vibes, but about making a conscious effort to be moving forward in the good things. It isn't fighting the bad things. It's about turning attention away from those things, until they become irrelevant.

Granted we all have weeds that pop up in our gardens, and those things need our attention. But you can learn to not let those things discourage you. The more you overcome, the more you can think, "I've got this. I don't need to get upset about it. I just need to weed it out and move on." Sometimes we need a little comfort and encouragement along the way. That's okay too...that's a good thing. But once you've overcome a challenge, let it go. Don't waste time fretting over the bad things that have come and gone, or you'll miss out on the beautiful things that are revealed after a bit of weeding and pruning. It's easier said than done sometimes, I know very well. Sometimes it is a constant struggle. Some bad memories linger, though I've found that the best way to keep them at bay is to replace them with good ones. And while some outside forces linger as well, we can shift our focus to people who bring us joy and comfort. We can be grateful for the loving people in our lives.

If you're constantly struggling to push back the negative, you're just gong to wear yourself out, and in the process neglect the good things that need watering. So don't just think about your mood. We all have moody days, and we all have negative thoughts that sometimes need an outlet. At the end of a long day, it's nice to have someone to talk to about the bad things. But in the words of my former therapist (and friend) "don't linger there." To focus on the positive has a higher purpose than just being happy; it's about growing the good things in your life. It's about creating a better future. And it's making a habit of taking on every new challenge with a more positive attitude, not letting them get you down or keep you from the good things in your life.

Image via Belle Hanah Paperie. / See more from Krisztina's blog.

 
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Comments

  1. What a great post and "Good Vibe Only" is one of my favorite sayings! Have a wonderful weekend full of good vibes :)

    www.laurenfarrellny.com/blog

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  2. I used to be drepressed for a few years. But then I started thinking positive and now I feel great everyday :) Some days I will feel a bit down, but then I remind myself of all the good things in my life :)
    I make a
    list of 10 things I am grateful for everyday and it has done wonders to my mood over the years.
    Talking about thing always helps. Watching a sad movie so you can cry a little helps if your down.
    But just knowing that in life the only thing you can control is yourself, and how you handle situations <3

    I hope you have a happy weekend !
    xo
    https://stylehue.wordpress.com/

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    Replies
    1. For sure. I used to struggle with depression too. It took some time to train myself to be positive and optimistic, but it was so worth it. It felt like finally being able to live and to enjoy the good things without worrying so much about the bad. Some days it creeps back, but I always know how to handle it now.

      You have a happy weekend too!:)

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  3. Thank you for sharing this post! I make a conscious effort every morning to choose happiness -- to let go of feelings that no longer serve me and to celebrate the positive experiences and people that are in my life. That choice has certainly improved my outlook and made me a more optimistic person.

    www.livinginsteil.com
    Vanessa

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  4. Great read and great post. Well said, keep those good vibes rolling!
    xo, jill
    www.BornFancy.com

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  5. What an amazing post!!
    http://www.silkypearl.com/

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  6. loved this, i try to live each day as positively as i can. love that photo as well, it'd be nice to have a reminder like that in my home :)

    danielle | avec danielle

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