Here's to One Year and Many More to Come
This past weekend Ken and I celebrated our one year anniversary. We're getting married this December, as you know if you're enjoying the weekly wedding blog. We met and had our very first date on August 9th of last year, and it was truly a life-changing year for both of us.
How We Found Each Other
Online...yup, online ha. I was ready to get back out there and he was looking for a relationship. Both of us with previous marriages and both with kids of our own. Both with people that treated us very poorly in the past and both working hard to keep our half families functioning. We both had a deep need for real love, but we were both skeptical as to whether or not we would actually get it or if we could find what we were truly looking for in a partner.
During our third date. We had dinner at the Stonehorse Cafe and walked around Utica Square, and kissed, a LOT ha. But in between all of the kissing, we discussed whether or not we wanted to move forward with each other exclusively, and we did. We were both very excited about it actually. It just felt right.
Now, I've criticized the falling in love feeling before; people tend to rush into bad relationships because of that feeling. People swear up and down (as have I in the past) that something was meant to be, and then it turns out to be a huge mistake. So, what made this feeling seem like it was really the right one this time? Well, I went into it knowing full well that I was very attracted to this man, and that combined with how well he was treating me was bound to make me feel in love. But what I made myself pay close attention to was him - not how he was treating me or how I felt around him (which those were amazing, as they should be), but I paid close attention to just...him. Did I like him? Was he what I wanted? What I needed? And could I trust that he really was who he was presenting himself to be? Yes, yes, yes, and yes on all counts.
When Did I First Know I Wanted to Marry Him?
Probably about a few weeks after dating. Things just naturally progressed for us until we simply couldn't be apart from each other, not even for a day. And we spent a lot of time early on talking about the things we needed, wanted, and expected out of a relationship. Every time we discussed these things, it only further confirmed that we were very right for each other. And we spent a lot of family time together as well, with our daughters. The more we did that, the more we felt like two puzzle pieces fitting together; what I had to offer was what he was lacking and what he had to offer me was exactly what my girls and I were lacking. At that point, it was like, we would have to be crazy to not be together.
How He Proposed
On Christmas Eve...the funny thing is I've always dreamed of a Christmas engagement, even when I was single. Imagined opening a present to find that it's a ring from the man I love, followed by a proposal. We fit together so well and already knew we were going to get married, so it wasn't exactly a surprise :) but it was very special. And he put a lot of thought into the gift, as he puts a lot of thought into everything he does for me. Coffee shops, particularly Starbucks, has been a part of so many of our dates, as are red roses. (On our second date, he brought me two dozen and has gotten me so many more beautiful bouquets since then.) So he carefully placed the ring with a Swarovski crystal collection Starbucks tumbler and red roses. I still have the box, and the roses, and of course the tumbler to remind me of that moment every time I look at it.
How I Knew this One Would Last?
Well, it's never something you completely know, but it is something you should be able to trust in, based on actions. A relationship involves another person whom you have no control over. You can't know everything about how they'll be in future situations, or how you will be for that matter, or what kind of challenges may get thrown your way, but what I do know is that real love is a verb, it is consistent action that makes the other person feel valued and cared for. and what I do know about this man, based on his behavior, is that he first and foremost is simply a caring person and secondly that he is just as committed as I am to having a healthy relationship, not just a semi-functional one. We may not always agree on things in the future, but I trust 100% that if something upsets one of us or causes us to argue, he will work to find a way through it, because he genuinely cares about how I'm feeling and is committed to protecting our connection, and I feel exactly the same way towards him.
One of the Most Romantic Things He's Ever Done for Me
Well, last night is a great example. I've been resting my bad back, and despite him working all day, he picked up groceries on the way home and cooked dinner for me and our girls. I sure feel valued and appreciated (and desired) when we go on our amazing dates or whenever he gets me beautiful flowers, but moments like last night also make me feel very loved and cared for. It's those simple moments that confirm that he isn't just here to romance me but is here FOR me, those moments are just as romantic.
What I Like About Him the Most
Excluding how well he treats me and how much we have in common, but meaning him...like just him, not how he makes me feel or how well he cares for me, but what I like most about his personality regardless of me? That's something to keep in mind when you're "falling in love" is do you actually like the person, not just how they make you feel. Well, aside from physical attraction...I mean, I do like how he looks...a lot.:) I always wanted someone with dark hair, and just look at that smile. But physical attraction aside, I love how he can be very serious but also very fun. We can talk politics, religion, philosophy, etc and we can also be silly and laugh together. That can be a difficult combination to find in a person, but I knew very early on that I had found that in him.
What Is the Sex Like?
Very often and very loud ha! I'll leave it at that. You didn't think I was actually going to talk about our sex life, did you? Well, I will say that whatever you are getting out of a relationship...love, respect, etc. you should also be enjoying the physical part if you're with the right person. It should be a priority...something else Ken and I agree on completely.
Here's to one year, my love, and many many more.:)
If you want to see what we bought for each other for anniversary gifts, you can check out the latest Snapshots from the Week post. Thanks for stopping by the weekly Wedding Blog. You can also peek at more of my wedding planning on Instagram with the hashtag #krisztinasaidyes
Previously on the Wedding Blog