The Modern Way to Symbolize Unity
I have to thank my wonderful fiance for coming across this idea for the wedding. I hadn't given a lot of thought to the ceremony itself other than which songs I wanted to play and who our officiant will be. Other than that, all I've thought of is the ring part, the I Do's, and the kiss when it comes to the ceremony itself. I've been a bit more focused on the dress, the reception, and finding the right photographer, which we did! :) Pictured: Black Wedding Unity Sand Shadow Box Set with Personalization
But many couples have something special as a ceremonial part to their wedding, whether that be personal vows, a special song performed, or a meaningful poem read aloud by someone close to the couple. And though I'd heard of unity candles of course, I think of them as a bit outdated. When Ken mentioned this unity sand, and I considered it as part of the ceremony, I thought that it couldn't be more perfect for us.
|Heart Shaped Unity Sand Ceremony Set|
You see, we aren't the type of couple to spend time apart...like, ever. And we prefer it that way. He doesn't do golfing trips with the buddies, and I'm no longer desperate for girls night with my friends. That doesn't mean I don't still have time with them or keep in touch with them, but it is to a lesser degree and tends to be when we're all together. I used to be the friend who always wanted to hang out, and I would get frustrated by my married girlfriends who only had time for me if they weren't with their families or spouses.
But, now I am one of those women. I wouldn't dream of spending time away from my fiance if he has time off of work, and in turn I tend to devote the time he is working to completing my work so that I can be off whenever he is. It's how we've always done it, because we simply love to be around each other. The last thing I want to do for my bachelorette weekend, for example, is party without him.
|Weddingstar 8246 Unity Sand Ceremony Nesting 3 Piece Vase Set|
More than that, we truly believe in becoming one. Hence we love the idea on the unity sand. Once the grains of sand have been poured together, it's nearly impossible to separate them. In a world of modern romance where people seem to value independence, we find ourselves a bit in the minority at times. I think there is a fear among the modern generation to fight against losing yourself in a relationship...a struggle to remain yourself.
But, if you are joining into a union and sharing your life with someone, you are no longer just you...you're a we. My problems are his problems, my triumphs are his triumphs, my joys are his joys and vice versa. Yes we have our own preferences and hobbies of course, and those are important. Though luckily we have a lot of those things in common. But what I no longer have in common with the modern woman is the need to define myself apart from a man.
My man is the best thing that has happened to me and is now the biggest part of my life, as well as my best friend and lover and provider and my home. If there is anyone on this earth I should allow myself to be defined by and influenced by, it's him. And I don't mean that it an old-fashioned submissive way but simply to say that we love and respect each other, and we share all of ourselves with each other. He in turn has also changed in some ways since meeting me. We can't help but be defined by that. We are becoming one, and that's such a good feeling when it's with the right person.
When we stand together on our wedding day and pledge to become one, it will simply be an outward celebration of how we already feel. Mind you, these are not the words of naive puppy love. We have both had bad marriages followed by bad divorces, and we both know the misery of pretending to be happy with the wrong person. We are both equally happy and filled with both joy and peace to be starting a life with the right person and to experience real love.
The unity sand comes in several different variations; from the vases to shadow boxes to a picture frame. I'm not sure which one we're going with yet, but we are definitely incorporating this into the ceremony. :)
Previously on the Wedding Blog