My husband and I have amazing dates on the weekends, but we experience romance every day as well. I think a lot of girls dream of finding the kind of romance I've found with my Ken. And while I'm sure I can't be the only one who has found it, I do consider myself very lucky to have met him.
But (and he would agree), it has a lot more to do with actions than luck. I mean, yes, the fact that I met him of all the people in the world...in Oklahoma...in Tulsa, is pretty amazing. There are so many specific things about each other we really like, that it makes it very easy to love each other. For that, we are both lucky. But, as I was saying, the day to day romance has little to do with luck. It comes through a consistent stream of deliberate actions.
It's easy to be romantic when you're just dating...when it's all about getting dressed up and going somewhere nice. Having romance when you share a home and kids and responsibilities however, takes more than going on a nice date a having a great kiss (though we highly recommend that as well.) 🙂 These are a few of the ways we keep the romance amidst the busyness of day to day life.
1. I would say first and foremost, we think about it ahead of time. We think about what we're going to do in the evening together. On a weekday, that usually entails dinner while watching something together and sometimes having wine. Essentially, we look forward to time with each other at the end of the work day. I've learned that wherever I focus my thoughts, that is where my energy tends to lead. Relaxing together isn't an after-thought or something we do to kill time in the evening. It's quality time that we celebrate, even if it's as simple as a T.V. show and some beers.
2. Something I do personally is get ready everyday, despite the fact that I'm home all day. I've learned that feeling put together and feeling pretty helps me feel more desired, and feeling more desired helps me feel...well, ya know. In turn before each date, he still puts on his cologne, because he knows I like it. We both do things that show effort and consideration for the other person, even on just a basic personal-appearance level. And while we both are crazy about each other without all the bells and whistles, that extra effort makes each of us feel special and desired.
3. Something he does every day is take a minute to focus on me. Even if he is still stressed and trying to unwind from work, after I've gotten everyone's dinner and sat down next to him to eat, he says thank you and gives me a kiss. It's a simple and small gesture but has a big impact on making me feel appreciated and loved. Likewise, I take a moment to focus on him when he gets home. I know he still needs a little bit of time to decompress, but he still needs to feel welcome. I stop what I'm doing, even if just for a moment to give him a hug.
4. We ease each other's burdens. Whether we need to vent about something, or I need to sit down because my back injury is acting up (so he finishes plating dinner for me), or he would love to just sit and relax (so I offer to grab him another beer while I put his plate up for him), or I'm feeling needy and want some holding; we are there for each other.
5. We eliminate distractions. We have three kids and a big dog...it can be distracting. But we put each other first. The kids are old enough to be in their rooms after dinner, and if they and our silly German Shepherd are still causing distractions, we go into our bedroom and shut the door.
6. We flirt. Sometimes our texts look like those of a pair of teenagers ha. It's important to let the other person know that you not only love them, but that you like them and that you desire them.
Looking back over this list, I can see that everything we do to be romantic and loving with each other can be summed up with the words - time and attention. We give each other a lot of time and attention every single day, and it makes a world of difference. 💕
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